Hurts so bad...

So how does one deal with someone who you love that makes you feel as if your being ripped apart. I mean is it crazy to feel so messed up when one minute the one you love is holding you and making love to you and the next minute their telling you they don't know if there is anything there. Then tells you they love you and is cuddly and loving then tells you to let them go? I feel so messed up and torn apart and then to have my kids thrown into it one minute they love them next they hate how they are. I feel like the world is crumbling underneath me. Everything and everyone is out of my control. I feel like my world is spiraling out of control and I just really don't see the light. Oh God I can't I just feel like I am dying a little more every moment. I don't think there is a thing I can say or do that really matters I just am worthless....Oh God I can't stop crying and dry heaving and I am loosing so much weight and I hardly sleep and I just don't know how much longer I can... God I am so worthless...I am so sorry I am so so so sorry I am so horrible a person I'm sorry...