So went to couple counselling the other day and since we seem to be making great strides on our own we are gonna call him in a couple weeks see where we are at. I also saw my psychiatrist and counsellor they put me on a new men Called Zyprexa. Never heard of this one before so not really sure what to expect. They also believe I have wrestless Leg syndrome because of the way my legs feel kinda crawly alot and it keeps me awake because I can't get comfortable. Gee I feel like soon I will have something wrong with me to go with each letter of the alphabet. Mary is going to her dad's tomorrow after much debate with not just him but then my sister. Sometimes I hate her even more than I already hated her before. I cannot believe the anger she holds towards my son, if anyone can keep a grudge and blame forever it is her.Anyone hear Luna the whale died yesterday that is so very sad to me. How could they let something like that happen. They knew where he was it was going to happen, he liked people too much.Still suffering with teeth aching I wish I knew where to get dental cement then I could at least use some of that until I can afford to get a dentist. I have to mention this, what the hell is with a government who thinks it is ok to harass family members especially senior citizen family members because they are trying to track you down? Especially when they already have your address and spoke to you? How odd it is if you ask them to send you a form and they never do but expect you to keep following through on your commitment. What kind of government does that? I know Canadian Government. Boooooo!!!Phil bought himself another Transfomer yesterday to replace the one that is the same but doesn't have it's one leg working properly. I am sure lots of people would agree with me in thinking OMG who cares at least you have him. But pretty sure any TF collector would agree with him that it does matter. So I guess it's which side your looking from. I'm having alot of carb cravings lately and I hate that. I don't usually get alot of carb pangs. Lately I love pasta and toast, and of course I am still on a drinking tons of milk kick. Yuck I just accidently ate an onion I hate onions.If people who read this wonder if I jump around in real life conversations like I am on here yes I do. Apparently it's a bipolar trait. What bugs me is when I am told to slow down or am asked to repeat myself that frustrates the hell out of me. I remember my dad used to always tell me to think before I speak yet when I took the myers briggs I was ENFP I am now INFP but apparently that is how we work we speak then think. So it's how I am hard wired. I would love to think more before I speak but that is really hard. Phil and I have been having some really good talks lately. Last night he suprised me in a very pleasant way that I wasn't expecting. But was happy to be close to him. Feels sometimes like we are becoming so much closer than I ever thought we could. For the first time we are talking and both realizing when we're wrong. He does apologize more and I apologize too. There doesn't seem to be so much blaming. Yeah he does get mad at times and he can yell at times but on the whole he has become so much better. Especially with the kids. We are talking things out about the kids. I am giving him equal ground which I refused to give him before. We don't always agree. Biggest thing we have disagreed about is one day Mary put on black eyeliner and I about lost it. Was way too dark as far as I was concerned for a young teen. I made her wash it off. Phil thought I went a little overboard and didn't see it as a bad thing like I did and my mother agreed. I am sure though her dad would have agreed it was too much. But then I could be wrong. I did talk it out with Phil and we've never agreed but he did back me up on it. The kids are treating him better now too as I think they realize he has as much control now as I do. If they want anything they better shape up. I'm working on a site for Phil to display all his transfomers pics. I been taking pics of each individually as time goes along. He has about 300 though so will take some time to get them all. I am definetly camera happy. I so love taking pics and I love using my digital camera I just wish it were cheaper to get them done up as prints.My asthma is acting up hugely in the last couple weeks but I don't know why. I definetly need to go get my ventalin though cause mine is overdue to be used. I had not needed it much for awhile. I wish I had the tube thing working I lost the little plastic piece to the end. I had got that one when they tested my lungs now I need to pay for one because they are not covered. How stupid is that? Especially when it helps it get back into your lungs better.Mary now has a new boyfriend. He seems like a good kid and independant and sweet. He has really good goals for his life and at this age that is remarkable.I took pics yesterday of it snowing and today it's sunny and beautiful. They said we got a weather bomb. Wish I had had my camera last night I would have captured the lightening and the beauty of it on cam :( This weather is just crazy lately.Sarah had a sleepover last night, Tonight DJ is sleeping over at a friends and Mary is having a sleepover. It's getting where there is always kids in my house that are not mine.Phil has been gone since this morning as he went to his nieces bday party. My kids were pretty upset about not being invited. I think they were even more upset than I was and I hurt real bad about it. I am supposed to go to his mom's at easter and now I feel like I will cause tension when I go. How do you be around people that you know don't like you and don't want you to be part of their family? I have enough issues with my own family. Days like today I really miss Princess. Still have not been able to get a dog :( Casper will be leaving when Mary goes. He and her are so attached to one another. He has gotten so darned fat too holy he's almost a mojo(a cat that once visted here:) )Still two people who have not paid Phil for items they bought from him. Which is driving him bonkers. One bid on the watches he's selling. Which is like whatever 99 cents doesn't seem worth it. It looks like we won't use ebay for selling things again.Oh did you see this coolsite called http://www.favorville.com It's across the world people helping people. You can do a favor or get a favor. How cool an idea is that? And it's popularity is gaining ground fast.I have downloaded the newest google toolbar. I totally love it. I do have an issue though to get the pack it also offers you have to have windows XP as I do have it not a problem but Phil and DJ do not have XP so cannot have the pack. I think that should be changed to win 98, win 2000 and win XP. The same goes for the msn toolbar. A feature I love however same as googlebar some features are only for XP. Also I get irritated by it automatically filling in my address and phone number in anything that says address where I have accidently filled in those answers and had to go back and delete after realizing it filled that in. For the next 48 hours, we have an opportunity to really help fight global AIDS and extreme poverty. Right now, leaders in Congress are deciding how much life-saving assistance the U.S. will give to the world's poorest countries—and they need to hear from YOU!http://www.one.org/dia/organizationsONE/one/petition.jsp?petition_KEY=99Every signature counts—it means our leaders know that we believe doing even more is in America’s interests and it’s the right thing to do. Already, Americans from every state have stepped up and signed on, sending more than 108,000 letters asking Congress to support the President’s budget request and fully fund the fight against global AIDS and poverty!Let’s keep up the positive pressure: Please sign the letter today! I signed it :)I found a great site that I Enjoyed visiting because it explains someone else going through some of the same things I go through. http://www.livingmanicdepressive.comAnyhow I guess that is it for now, so am off and running, Laterz....