Pre New Year Thoughts

Well today is the 30th my deadline for meeting DJ's demands. I have not responded or spoke to him since such demands were made except to give him his christmas gift. So I do wonder what will be the next step :'( Christmas pretty much sucked for me. Nothing really spectacular for me. We had the big christmas dinner with Phil's family on Christmas eve at his sisters. I do have to say God did bless Phil's family with yet another miracle, just before Christmas the cancer clinic phoned to say his dad came back clear for any sign of cancer. So yes once again miracles have proven to become reality. Especially for Phil's family. As for Phil and I we are having a hard time getting along. More on my part. I just get so frustrated with him and I hate him not listening to me and not respecting me when I ask him not to yell at me or touch me when I don't want to be touched. I hate when I people especially men force themselves on you, it feels dirty and wrong and unclean. It makes you want to do everything you can to make them not want to be near you you know? For Christmas he gave me 3 vamp like posters a medium robosapien I have not got to use yet cause he has no batteries :( He called me down to walmart last night to buy me a new coat cause mine could wrap around me twice it was toooooooo big for me. But When he paid for it he went into a huge ordeal about cost and the whole world heard it and I probably went white. I wanted to cry. I hate when he humiliates me like that. If it is such a huge ordeal I don't want it. I didn't need it THAT bad. I mean we are in BC after all. Then it was a yelling at me thing all the way to the bus stop. I watched a show WHAT WOULD YOU DO? well they should do another instance of someone in a security jacket harrassing their girlfriend or boyfriend because I can tell you from personal experience NO ONE WILL HELP YOU, or even question what is going on. I think they automatically assume your in the wrong. Nothing you say or do will get you help. Even 5 EMPLOYEES in WALMART saw and watched as I pleaded to be left alone to NOT BE TOUCHED to GO HOME did nothing. No they WATCHED and did NOTHING! This makes me question how many other people experience and have experienced outright abuse because of any uniform they may be wearing. It really is an interesting show the WHAT WOULD YOU DO? I think everyone should watch it and more should be done. So Saddam Hussien is dead huh? I was surprised it seemed to come so quickly. His trial made me laugh. I have to admit he has a very big sense of humour. Or should I say had. On MSNBC I watched a bio on him. There is alot to understand about the man. He wasn't all bad. Mislead I think, did bad things but not all bad. Inside he was human! I've been talking to Doug, I take that back we've been TRYING to talk. Our talks are more like ....leave your message at the tone...hey at this rate we're never gonna cross paths...beep. Or...hey finally caught ya...yeah but on the run...what's up...oh work work work and more work...yeah and you....oh this and that the same old same old....think we'll ever catch up....I don't know your schedule is worse than mine...true that... But we do get to talk a little bit and it's nice when we do it's nice to connect. His mom is always sweet when I talk to her too. Mary and Sarah have been LOUD here together, reminds me why Mary is with her dad at times. But is nice at other times. Mary has been cleaning and has had fun with friends, has done my hair and makeup. Teen girls are blast to have for shopping and dressing up with. Specially when they like being girls :( My Sarah is more into being a boy but with Mary here she has had her dressed up real nice it's been nice:) Unfortunetly for family pics Sarah won the war and had a hat and tshirt on. I wasn't gonna fight she was being herself. My family however won't be too keen on the pics :( Hey if everyone would check out my brother's Blog it would be great and pass it on to others I would love ya for it http://usanatraveler.wordpress.com also please tell him his sister Angela sent ya there. That would be the best gift for me. Anytime ya visit tell him I kept sending ya there :P Phil's family has another blessing coming to their family this year. A little precious girl. Phils brother Colin one of the twins is having a baby with Nikki they are due I believe Feb 1 2007. I personally think it will be Jan 29th maybe I just feel january when I am around her. She'll also loose her weight right away. She is such a beautiful pregnant lady :) Colin is such a proud daddy to be. For Christmas I got them engraved sterling silver matching keychains that say Mommy and Daddy. I was most proud of that gift :) Oh my family loves holidays to let it be known who is the black sheep and who is not. I miss the days when my grandma didn't have dementia and my grandma m was alive. Nothing is the same anymore, I don't think they would have ever been the way other members are in our family. But it has been made known for sure that yes I am still very well known as the black unwanted sheep, and firmly stand there in place as I always have! I have roast cooking tonight I am making it with peas, corn, mashed potatoes, yorkshire pudding, and gravy. I did make a second turkey on christmas day which I wasn't going to do but did. I just couldn't have christmas without turkey. Then I got uh a little sloshed at Phil's sisters on boxing day. OMG I love rum and coke and I had just had so much fighting the drinks were so nice. I don't drink often but when I can and when I have the opportunity and it's safe for me to do so I love to just fade into the rum and coke :) I sent Phil to get me VEX one night and he accidently got me HYDRA vodka water lime flavour. OMFG it tastes so good. It's almost like the MEXIKITA WHICH I LOVE!!! I wish they hadn't taken it away I drank it as my only drink when it was here. Oh man the teen girl is home from her friends the noise comes back, and she is gone again off to her friends again, but for how long dun dun dund da..... My upstairs computer got a virus I have been alerted by one person about this url http://forum.shopbdazzled.com/members.php?msn=advice_angel@hotmail.com this is not from meplease do not open it. That computer is no longer attached to the internet and is in the process of being cleaned all other computers have been tested and are okay. I honestly think people who hack people need a fricken life honestly! Anyhow that is it for now...