You Gotta Love Life...

Well I went to the Mood Disorders Clinic and apparently that was a one time visit which was not what my psychiatrist was hoping for:( Anyhow he went over my meds with me and I'm staying on the topomax, zopiclone, celexa I will now add on seroquel apparently a major tranquilizer. The dr said it will help me slow down my thought process, excitability, among other things I do. So far I have noticed my thoughts are slowing down a little bit. I am also getting more sleep again which was something I had started to loose again. It was a reason zopiclone was added but over time I got used to it and could stay awake through the zopiclone some nights. Not every night but sometimes. So we will see. What upsets me is having to rely on meds to try and be "NORMAL". It's not that people are mentally unstable you hear people say it's that we can't get them to take their meds. Well it's damn hard to always have to take these stupid fricken pills and go in and get them and take them on a clock and explain to people why you need them, or why you do things you do. Not to mention the pills don't FIX everything, they "fix" some things. People pass judgement about what you should and shouldn't be. How that should look. Easy for them because they aren't the one going through it. Do you think we the ones going through it enjoy it?
I am going through a bad bout of skin picking right now, have never found anything to stop that. No one ever talks about it either, no just comment on it and comment in not so nice terms. I read most people who share this problem with me have it with their faces. I thought alot about that and my thought is it's not because we want people to see it. I know I always try hiding it with makeup ect. I think it's that your more likely to get a zit or blotch ect on your face and that's for me how it starts. I hate the look or feel and I think if I just get rid of the swelling or I pick the little patch or scrap it here ect it will look or feel better, of course it looks worse but it's not like that when I am doing it. Not to mention I also do it in my sleep, yeah that's right I do it in my sleep!
As for the lump on my thigh it was really bugging me so I cut it open and released some fluid. Cleaned it up with alcohol and put some guaze on it. Lump is still there but not as big as it was and not as sore.
One of my kids got bronchitis. I knew right away it was not just your normal cold and cough. I knew there would be a prescription with a visit to the doctor and there was.
My grandmother is in the hospital, I was angry that she pretty much spent 2 days in emergency before she finally got a room. Our healthcare in canada is really going downhill. If that was the primeminister or their family they would have gotten better treatment. I am worried about her she is not doing very good. I love both my grandmothers very much and consider myself very lucky to even still have the two of them around at my age. I guess it's in God's hands. I haven't gone up to see her yet because with the throwing up in this house and the coughing I can't risk bringing that up to the hospital. Which kills me cause it makes me feel so helpless. I hope to see her soon though.
I am keeping up with the vitamin C and healthy stuff. Bought lots of cleaners with javex in them and hoping that will help with things.
Anyhow that's it for now I am off....