Happy Easter

Well Happy Easter everyone hope it was a good one for everyone. Pretty quiet around here. One kid is at my sisters, one kid was up at 4am so we opened baskets with her and then the other was up at 8 am and then he left this afternoon till tomorrow. So been quiet around here. Feels wierd. Good though cause I cannot shake this fricken headache I have had it for days I am sure the tooth problems are a huge part of it:(
Kids liked their baskets. I never did go with Phil to his parents yesterday
because my two oldest stayed home and I didn't want to leave them here alone together and that turned out to be a good thought.
Ya know my whole life there is a few places I have always wanted to go one is new orleans and another is New York City. I still do among a few other places but I keep finding more reasons why I want to go to NYC. Now I want to go to see this tatoo artist Paul Booth his work is fricken incredible http://www.darkimages.com . I would just die to have anything on me from him. If you saw his work you would want it done too. I love tatoos always have but his is some of the best work I have ever seen. I would love to also see a NYC tatoo convention apparently it is just huge.OMG I so wish I had the money to just spend on whatever I wanted. I think tats are beautiful pieces of art walking around. True I have seen some bad ones but when their good their really good. Here's a little stat for you apparently 1 in 10 americans have tatoos and females are the largest growing poulation in getting them. That is very exciting. I am not much into the piercings but I think some are cool. The body modification strange to me and makes me nervous apparently it is done with pieces of teflon. I just can't see that being safe and how do they test to see if you will have a reaction to that? Although it is not up my alley I am hugely an adorer of Erik The LizardMan You so so so have to check him out man http://www.thelizardman.com he actually looks like a lizard with tats, split tongue, body modification, even teeth done.
Oh I do keep a blog and a list of some interesting blogs and some of my fave sites on msn space here: http://spaces.msn.com/yourladyillusions/ I have pictures there too but cannot get to them or even see them anymore, but am told they are still there:(
Phil and I had a little better a day yesterday which was nice. Last week the one bad day we had was just really bad I took his keys and his bag and pushed him out the door and told him I didn't want to see him again till after karate and work. Just needed a cool down period. First time I have done that. I think I was just really also cranky to everyone that day. Some days lately I just feel so on edge. I see my psychiatrist this week and we'll see how things are gonna go with these new meds. Not so sure I can say they are working. My thoughts are all a mess but my moods are changing as quickly as normal. However they are still changing up and down and anxiety is still there:(
Sometimes I think Phil is right sometimes I think God does have a cruel sense of humour.Why are some people so damn perfect and some of us so messed up? He doesn't get why he has to loose his hair and he thinks he is fat and ugly now when he's not but he thinks that is what happens to some men while other men keep their hair and looks. I told him think about us women we have biological clocks, periods, menopause, tits drop, butts drop, babies to carry to deliver, oh and he thinks women can jump out of bed with the perfect hair it falls into place and men have to work at it to make it look good. Grrrrrrrr whatever. That is why we girls have ponytails right?
Speaking of which God or the Girl just came on, we'll see if I watch it or not. Looks kinda interesting.
You know I was shocked yesterday to learn that heroin is the number one drug in white age 16 yr old femalesin middle class family in the usa right now. Years ago it had a 10% purity level now a days you can find at a 50 to 80% level. Which is the apparent reason for the rise in overdoses. It's been said it's easier to buy drugs than alcohol by teens, that is scary coming from the parent of a teen.There is a mother who speaks out about heroin use so that the death of her daughter is not in vain. Her daughters name was Erin Allen. She had gotten clean for 9 mos but one day went for a routine blood test and was triggered to use. Not long after her mother got a call and was told her daughter was in the morgue of a heroin overdose. I find that so scary and so sad. Her mother is so strong and I think it is great she can share her daughters story. Her daughter kept a diary writing to heroin as if it were her best friend which really opens ones eyes to how much this stuff does to you. It takes you over and it only takes once and boom you could be gone. I like what Dr.Lance Gooberman does he does a surgery that costs $3000 US he puts you out and puts in a drug to pull out the heroin from your system, after he watches you go through withdrawl and back to normal he inserts this little pellet which not sure if this is spelled right but is called maltrexon. If you try and take heroin it won't do anything you won't get high it slowly dissolves over a period of months. I guess not everyone believes in it but I say it's something. I would hope in canada something like that would be covered.
I believe we need more help as parents of young and teens because there is not a whole lot out there for us. Not here in canada anyhow. Family Services are more than happy to tell you to put them into the justice system if they get too out of control. Well not every kid needs the justice system, and why does it have to get to that point? If they had more set up and more options for parents and teens then maybe the need for the justice system would not even be in the damn equation. How many parents now a days have had their kids threatened them if you touch me or do whatever is they don't think you should do I will call the poilce or SS? I know there is alot. They do it because they are taught they now have the power and they can threaten adults. In result of that alot of adults have given up. Now not sure how that works around the world but I know in canada it seems to have gone from one extreme when I grew up to the exact opposite extreme.
The other day our cat Storm was driving me insane with his insesant meowing so I told Phil to settle him down as he always seems to for him. Well he did, he had though disappeared I thought he sunk in the bathroom, but when he came down and I asked him where he went he said he had put Storm to bed. Actually took the cat put him in bed and layed with him till he fell asleep and then came back downstairs. I have to say sometime I am a little jealous of Storm and Phil they sometimes seem to have a closer relationship then Phil and I do. How pathetic am I to be jealous of a fricken cat? I should be happy to have someone who loves a cat and is patient like that with a cat.
Since everyone has been stressed and getting sick I been making sure everyone is taking vitamins, I get Phil these new losanges from halls called Halls Oxygen and I also get him the Halls Vitamin C. I also get alot of orange juice and they don't seem to be much into eating the oranges but the apples are getting eaten as well as bananas so I do buy those.
One of my favorite shows I love is called I Detective I like it because I like to see how many answers I can get right and most I do get right. However one show I was think how can you say the murder was premeditated just because there was a gas can in the car? If I were the defense lawyer I would argue that. I admit they definetly murdered the guy up on remote mountain with a gun but just because they had a gas can in thecar does not mean they thought it out ahead of time. Sometimes people do have a gas can in the car as an emergency thing or just to have it. I mean we've talked about having some for when the gas prices go up or if we get stuck somewhere, saying it was in thee for murder is an assumption. But hey that's just my opinion.
Just before the weekend a kid was forced to sit in the corner by a student teacher wearing a cap the teacher made saying DUNCE on it with the class there. The teacher is no longer there. I would have blown up. What the hell is wrong with fricken people? That is not acceptable you do not do that to a kid at school or anywhere else, that shit stays with you, trust me!!!
Ya know I can understand why alot of criminals want to come to canada. Look at Karla Maholka she should still be in jail just like Paul Bernardo. She damn well killed her little sister. She administer the sleeping pills and then the stuff to knock her out. Over the years she could have done something or said something. The police really screwed up that case. There should have been a way to get out of the plea bargain she gave them. She really did get a sweet sweet deal and they know it too. Scary to know she is out there. Although our laws may not be as harsh I do not agree with the death penealty and I don't believe in corporal punishment. But I do think we need to upgrade our system.
There was a guy in Anamosa Penitentiary 2005 in Iowa and I don't know his name and didn't catch all the words but really really loved what he spun out and he called it Concrete & Steel. Anyone know how I could find out who wrote it and the words? I loved it so much. That prison is pretty cool they have a program called S.A.V.E. where victims and their families meet up with the prisoner to deal with the crime that affected them all. I think that could be a very healing program. They showed 2 sets of brothers in Anamosa 1 set are 100% brothers who had guys go after them and one is in for life for killing one with a gun the other is hoping to be parolled in 8 to 10 years for cutting another guy up. The 2 brothers that brought tears to my eyes though were the half brothers they share the same mother. They don't blame her they said she struggled to do what she could and she told them they should have listened to her but they didn't. The one brother has never known his dad was reffered to as a sperm donor apparently he pushed the mother down the stairs when she was 3 mos pregnant and the other brother the dad left when he was 5 and he don't know him and doesn't want to. One is in for first degree robbery one is in for second degree robbery. Anyhow it only made me feel stronger in my convictions about keeping the lines open with my kids about their father. DJ his dad is Bryan and I have told him as much as possible he has always known about him and I always continue to encourage that maybe one day his dad could still be in his life. It's sad you know his family is so wealthy they own a couple of mcdonalds in ontario good catholic family big home on the water and his family has done everything to push him away. Yet I continue to keep the positive face up. He looks just like his dad and I think they have alot in common and I think there is still alot of possability if Bryan ever grows up! Girls their grandparents have always kept close to the girls and Michael he is up and down but he is taking Mary and I think he could really blossom once he has her. They are so alike. Yes I believe parents no matter what and no matter what age should never put down their other parent or tell them they are a result of something bad I have seen what damage that does I see it everyday, why do people just not get it? I did find a cool site of work of prisoners if anyone is interested in that http://www.prisonwall.org
This may piss some people I truly car NOT but I want to say there really needs to be more attention payed to women with post partum depression. I truly believe that the defense lawyer Kutmass felt Heidi Afinson was guilty and did not truly defend her the way she deserved. Pleading Jacobs death was an accident. He needed to plead post partum depression, mental illness, she needed to into hospital. being in jail until she is in her 80's is crap. There is mom's out there that yeah are sick and have killed their kids in cold blood but I honestly in my heart believe she was mentally ill at the time. I am glad the one juror held out in Des Moines IA and there was a hung jury but to have the jury find her guilty of second degree murder in Davensport IA. I know so far her new lawyer hasn't had much luck but I iwsh her lawyer Maggi Moss all the love and luck. For those needing help or more ino on post partum depression this is a great link http://www.postpartum.net/
Anyhow I am sore and tired and it's quiet and I will leave with a couple more things I heard someone say last night this"Don't smoke, don't chew & don't date date girls who do"
I heard earlier today that there is a possible arrest in the Natalie Halloway case a 19yr old with initials GVC? I guess we shall watch to see how that story develops I am sure her mom is thrilled K later....