Friday, April 06, 2007

Happy Easter To All

I did put another video up it's of Phil http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ2SlGZdEoA
I think it speaks for itself.
Anyhow he found my ring recently it was in the washing machine. I have recently felt like I am dying. I have had this horrid flu. ^The first day I couldn't even sit up. My neck and back would not even move. I was screaming in pain and crying for my mom. I never felt such painful agony. Omg I really thought that I was going to die it hurt so bad. But I am slowly coming back from it. I slept a couple days through it. Not able to eat, trying to keep fluids down it was just agonizing. Doug has been suffering through it for quite some time. I am sure his bodybuilding has not helped him heal any faster!
That chin issue I was having is growing out of control again. I am wondering can it be an allergy to something cause this is the worst breakout yet. If I am able to post the collage pic I will. It is in my pics on my msn space, It is very painful and itchy and nothing I use seems to help. It is itchy and painful. I wish it were not on myt face I hate that so much. I guess I will finally have to go get it checked when I get back from salt spring this weekend.
I have a confession to make. I have the serious hots for Nick Simmons, Yes Gene Simmons son on KISS omg he is so articulate and funny and down to earth. He seems to have it so together I love his personality. Why can't all guys be like him? He is seriously funny. Gene and and Shannon make me cry they love one another so much. Their relationship is the kind of relationship I want to have. When they had their plastic surgeries I was like laughing and and just so envious of how much they love one another. They still act like newly weds ya know although he says unwed for like 23 yrs or something like that. Still I want what they got it is so cool. Their kids are awesome too like who wouldn't want to get to know their kids? I can't wait to see what their surgeries turned out to look like. I know Nick was very against it:)
Oh I also watched recently an interview with a serial killer which was Jeffrey Dahmer. K I have always felt sad for him. I know what he did was so wrong. What I like is he was open about what he did, he spoke and answered everything he was asked. I think his mother denied too much and I understand it had to be hard to be the mother of of a killer. I like that his father supported him. I hate how he died, I think they knew that would happened and they did nothing to protect him and I think that was crap. I don't know why I have such an interest in killers but I do. I think it's that I know everyone is someones child and something in their life led them down a road most don't go down and why did they do that? Especially since so many of them were so smart and could have had such brilliant wonderful lives. What was the thing that took them off that hbright career in life?
Apparently Anna Nicole Smith and her son Daniel are both being chopped up to being accidental deaths. I don't believe it. I think it is very sad that it is being let go so easily, but it figures their just gonna let it go with that. Makes me sick. She also got a bad shake in life. I hope her daughter will get better!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512194816 if your on facebook add me I am on there as Angela Howland, seems to be one of the next big sites online now:)
I'm still pretty emotional about the scary night I had a few weeks ago. I just feel like the people involved could have handled things so very much better than they did. I am so scared what if I am out and by myself again and no one is around and something like that happens again? I mean this has only happened to me once but still I feel a little traumatized from one night of being scared because of something that happened due part in partial to my being bipolar.
Ya know I hate hearing all the time how I do not need my meds I want to take my meds. I can train myself not to take my meds. Why do people who take cancer meds or diabetic meds get to have their daily meds without harassment and bipolar people and shizo people get harassed and told it'sd all in our heads. We are just manipulating the systom. Then a certain someone else I know needs meds they have issues and needs counselling and they absolutely refuse to believe it even though the dr says yes they do. Neither the meds and counselling will work if they insist it's the world forcing them on them is why they are on them. Good God. It just frustrates me so much. When I don't have my meds I can't slow down my thinking, I can't sleep and I do things that are erratic. I apparently also talk really fast and really loud. Does anyone else have people get on them for talking too loud and too fast? I get so irritated by that? Excitability :(
Man I need new clothes. Phil has been buying himself a whole new wardrobe, meanwhile my clothes are falling off:( and I can't find any of my more sexy shirts, they all seem to be missing which is odd. I have looked everywhere and it is pissing me off:( I am going to a social thing with Sherri next weekend. Sherri is getting me out more. Doug and I are talking more. Haven't seen him though for awhile he's been super sick:(
Anyhow I should sign off for now, laterz....

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