Dying Inside

Ya know when your heart is aching and all you want is for the one you love to hold you in their arms and love you, doesn't it just feel like death when they push you away? I am so tired of crying and everytime I think I can stop I have another reason to start again. However I can't cry to the one I need to because he sees it all as a woman's way of manipulation. Cause women are mass manipulaters and hurters and want it all and want everything our way. I don't know how to deal with that. So I hide when I cry, I hold back because I hate being told off for hurting. I feel so dead inside right now. I can't help but want to reach out somewhere else. I truly feel so alone and lost right now. I am dying slowly everyday