Playing Catchup, Somewhat Pointform

Saw the Omen last night despite my trying to tell Phil he could not afford it. Was ok but not as good as I expected which pissed Phil off cause I have become somewhat of a hardlined critic in the way of film. I think too much red was in the film, a little drawn out and a little predictable. What was with the rotweilers?
My depression seems to have subsided somewhat, I have gone from feeling like death to feeling pretty much just numb and like you could prick me and I would feel nothing. Which is a feeling I have grown to love. To not feel is a feeling I live for. Still it hits me every now and again that my son is not here. Miss thing rubs it in how she accomplished making him leave. She takes full credit for making him realize he didn't want to live here and she is telling anyone she can she thinks he will hear from anything she can to make sure his continued hate of me grows. So I am sure I will hear from him long time to huh NEVER AGAIN! She now vows to have Phil and my youngest turn on me as well and she is doing a damn good job of it. She is really good at hitting their weak spots and just plugging away at them. I try not to fall into the game but every once in awhile I break down and cry. I am only human. I am so tired of being called a pill popper. Part of me wants to just stop taking my meds. Screw the fact I get suicidal and cut myself, screw the fact my thoughts race and I am oversexed, screw the fact I make very irrational thoughts at least I wouldn not be on meds and no one could call me a pill popper!!!! I HATE THIS SHIT!!!! They had taken me off my zopiclone but I went days without sleeping and finally went and bought over the counter sleeping pills and took a bunch to finally sleep so they finally put me back on the zopiclone. However they lowered my nighttime dose of seroquel. But my thoughts are beginning to race at night again so it may still have to go up. The seroquel I have to say is seeming to work except mid afternoon the 50mg is not enough to keep my excited moments down. The morning and evening is perect though so I think I am getting really close to a perfect dose, not yet though. But like I said the pill popper crapper has me sometimes considering stopping it all and flushing it all.
I am almost caught up on laundry but pain in back is so bad and codiene is doing nothing does anyone take anything for osteoarthrtis that actually works. I have tried so many meds and gave up. I stopped asking for pain killers because they were useless in helping. Celebrex a joke, and the few others like that didn't work. T3's don't work. I know there is another one napricin or something like that did not work either:(
Oh before I forget hell yeah I called it that it was Steve before they showed his face on Days how bout that? I am so fricken excited. Now we need Shane and Kim whew hoo Kayla and Steve I am so fricken excited!!!
Oh if someone said something very disturbing in a fight that could be dangerous and harmful how would you deal with that? If they later explained it away but something in your gut felt sick about it and made you still wonder what would you do, how would you deal? If a friend asked you how to deal with her boyfriend who seems to be trying to push her away and doing all he can to get her to dump him, but he insists he loves her and that is just not the case, what would you tell her? How do you help her deal with him making her feel more and more like he is doing all he can to make him leave and always asking her if that is what she wants is for him to leave? How does she deal with the inkling he might be cheating but no real evidence of it?
How do you help a friend who is have triggers and becoming violent where they weren't physically violent before and are having questionable blackouts? I looked up a disorder called intermitten explosive disorder it sounds alot like what this person is experiencing. Oddly enough it reminded me of my dad and brother when I was growing up. I have a hard time with that because I am more apt to be violent to myself so I am not sure how to help people who are violent to others. However I have a tongue of swords that is the only way I strike out and I always gold a grudge like a true scorpio!!!!
Ok so the rest is pointform thoughts I have been writing down and sites just random thoguhts and things:
I am interested in learning more about a foundation called Girls Best Friend
DBT http://www.behaviouraltech.com Marcha Linehan Interested in International Dyslexia Foundation
http://thatswhack.ca Cathi Griffith http://www.offthedlist.com Oh I am so psyched to watch Big Brother this summer, I do every summer Congrats late to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on your baby girl Want to read Book God's Banker http://www.homeagainpets.com OMG I so hate those stupid MAN'S LAW Commercials http://gethuman.com this site helps you skip robots on the phone whew hoo:) Nancy Weler-Investigative Psychic is very good if anyone is interested look her up A good foundation is the Steve Nash Foundation Hmmm I have written down Jeff McBride (Musician?) I was very interested in hearing what Brook Fox had to say about Albinoism like they are not evil and do not shoot radars out of their eyes:) By the way I thought she was very beautiful:) http://www.weatherplus.com http://www.driveok.com I am very curious about the VIDOQ SOCIETY(Limited to 82 members) look at unsolved homiceds is what I wrote here but yeah I am have my curiosity piqued about this society I wanna know more http://glenbeck.com he'll let you enter your weight here & put it on your site you can do this! http://discovery.com/deadliestcatch
I HAVE TO SAY I FRICKEN LOVE CRISS ANGEL I LOVE THE NEW SEASON I WANT CRISS I WANNA BE YOUR MANEQUIN OMG VRISS YOU SO ROCK BABY I WANNA BE MINDFREAKED!!! I HAD A DREAM HE CAME MINDFREAKED ME AND GAVE ME A AUTOGRAPH SAYING I HAVE BEEN MINDFREAKED BY CRISS ANGEL LOVE YOU ANGELA LOVE CRISSOMFG I LOVE CRISS I AM THINKIN I MIGHT GET THE A TATOO WHEWHOO!!!
http://shortstaturedadults.org http://www.rickhanson.com http://findmystory.com http://www.advair.com
Wanna read the book- if loving you is wrong Musclisim-reading someone by their muscle reactions Not sure if this is spelt right Houstrinism?
I wanna see the true story of Chris Gardner played by Will Smith and his son called The Pursuit of Happiness
I wanna know more about Priory Of Sion (ps)(Grandmasters)
Books I wanna Read- H.A.L.O., Holy Blood Holy Grail, & The Da Vinci Code By Dan Brown
Did you hear about the judge who let a guy not do jail time because he was 5'1" and would not be able to survive prison life after he sexually assaulted a 2 yr old he got 4 mos electronic monitoring 10 yrs probation in Nebraska. Same Judge gave a cow thief 8 yrs in jail. INSANITY!!!!
I was starting to like new show on msn but Glen Beck ticked me off when he put down a guy in canada saying he could live in his ice & ice. Uhm there is no ice where I live. I think Glen needs to make a trip up to canada. Come up here buddy get some geography in your pants. Be intelligent when you speak to us canadians and I was liking you damn it!!!!
A short film to watch Baghdad ER, some harsh reality!
I found a couple shows showing us Dr.Helen Morrison(Profiler) & Dr.Kris Mohandie (Forensic Psychologist) were compelling good specialists hard jobs. I envy the profilers, cool job. I'd love to shadow one. I saw a show on Macek Richard I don't think it was a surprise he killed himself after a yr in jail in fact I said it before the show did. He was not going to last in there he should have been on suicide watch.
http://follicare.com
Congrats to annanicole who seems to not just be doing well in court and I have to say when it comes to court I am on her side but also congrats girl your preggers and you seem to happy. Check her out: http://www.annanicole.com
ok that is all my notes am all caught up and need to finish laundry, so laters. Oh I got 3 weeks to go before my place gets even quieter, sigh more to get sad about:(