Monday, December 07, 2009

Facebook | Angela MacRae

Facebook | Angela MacRaeI"m havin a bad day I haven't slept for 2 days and a cousin died of cancer today yes another 1:( Plus I missing the innocence of my children when they were young & needed me, when my youngest one clung to me & right now she's just lost in darkness somewhere & I don't know how to help her. Our holidays will suck. I remember always complaining of setting up the tree well this year there is no tree no decorations, I can't afford gifts. I have good days and bad right now it just feels so overwhelming... I feel so so alone. I think of Someone and wish for just one night ....We're trying so hard to replensh what we lost clothes are huge ... See Moreright now it's damn cold.We don't even have linen or pots and pans we're even looking for a single bed for Sarah. I mean I see people out there going through harder and I haven't stop thinking about that lady with cancetr God Bless her she deserves so much more than us. I'm just havin a bad day I just need some rest uh...

3 comments:

Warren Anderson said...

One day at a time.

It was on a lonely road some two thousand years ago that Mary, pregnant and about to give birth yet riding a donkey, and Joseph journeyed from Nazareth to Bethlehem (about the same distance from Courtenay to Victoria) only to arrive and find no room in which to stay.

This time of year, for the better part of 25 years, was disastrous for our family. There was always something going amiss. We were flat broke and my brother insisted on bringing violence and drugs into our home, that is, when he wasn't in prison and was actually able to be with his kin. My sister had her own problems too, and it seemed like there was never a moment's peace.

The story of the Holy Family at Christmas gave me much peace and hope. We think Christmas is the season of peace. It is, but at a deeper level. On the surface, that first Christmas was certainly cause for much anxiety. Jesus was born in a barn in a manger (feed trough) lined with straw. The Holy Family lived under occupation by a foreign power (Rome). Unsettling to say the least.

Reflecting on those uncertain times, I identified with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and one Christmas I found acceptance, the ability to accept that it was ok for Christmas to be unsettling and I found peace amidst the noise and struggle to make ends meet.

Mom and dad are gone now. I had the privilege of taking care of my folks for the last 15 years of their lives. My brother has managed to survive 35 years of hard drug use (a miracle!) but lives on the street. My sister is estranged, but is married to a man who loves her and she has a good job. I suppose that testimony sounds a bit bleak. Without intending to sound preachy, faith in Jesus has kept me sane, and I am thankful I can turn to God.

We are not alone on this journey.

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Anonymous said...

You still out there?